there are so many things i’ve wanted to tell you
so much i’ve discovered
about the world
about myself
music, tv, life, art.
humans. people.
people i think you would like, approve of
people i want to tell you about, share
humans i have told about you
the good ones, they respond with warmth
with love. tenderness and care.
anyone else is dismissed, flicked away
deleted.
no time for unadulterated bullshit.
today is the day before the day that
it began for the last time.
the day before the day that was your last in this house
on this couch.
it is as clear as it was seven hundred thirty days ago.
“…Now I miss you more than I can take
To A Poet, First Aid Kit
And I will surely break
And every morning that I wake
god, it’s the same
There’s nothing more to it
I just get through it
It always takes me by surprise
how dark it gets this time of year
and how apparent it all becomes
that you’re not close, not even near
no matter how many times I tell myself
I have to be sincere
I have a hard time standing up
and facing those fears…”
The Salty Widow 