i woke to grey light, dim
the temporary buoyancy of yesterday,
the day before
sometime in the night it left,
stole away, slunk away
embarrassed to have lifted only to leave
whispers on the breeze
“i’m sorry, that wasn’t for you.”
i’m sorry that wasn’t for you.
my shoulders all wound together
knit together, snicked tightly, bound.
the hand that holds my pipe tensed and clawed
the tips of my fingers white from the pressure
unclench your hand, look at your fingers.
sit up, you don’t have to get up.
sit up straight, you can stretch.
you remember most of it.
take in deep breaths of this shaded air
aggressively blue sky hidden (thankfully)
mostly by the canopy
there are a lot of silvery clouds breaking up the blue
today feels very uncertain,
I feel the mania pulling my shoulders together
i will do everything that I can but there is only