Let’s do this* again.
Although this year was the most difficult year of my life, the most difficult year of my nearly half-century on this planet, I have learned, I have been shown exquisitely just how much I am loved and cared for and supported. All of you who are still here, all of you who are still friends have shown me so much care, so much kindness, so much tenderness that it makes me weep.
Although my house is so much quieter without Gary here to fill it with his big, booming voice, although it is colder, without Gary here to fill it with his constant stoking of the fireplace, it is still mine, and will remain so. One of the things on my list for 2018 is to make it more cozy, to make it more snug, to make it a more comfortable place for me and the kitties and for you guys to come and spend time.
I’ll be ringing in the new year across the street at the home of dear friends. Although in my heart of hearts I am wishing that Gary could be with me, I am truly okay. I am comfortable in my own skin, I am as much at peace with myself as I ever have been. If sharing our saga, our story, what has become This Widow’s Life helps anyone feel seen, feel heard, feel less completely alone, then I am grateful.
The only way forward is through. Forward, ever forward, into the new year, into my new life.
*this is in reference to a FB post at the end of 2016 that went like this: “Everyone comment about the good things that happened to them, instead of drowning in all of the bad things that happened in 2016.” It ended up to be really positive when all we wanted to do was sheetcake*